some thoughts....

So I have tried to post pics of our little boogar.....but I haven't really written anything. So, I think I'll try now. Not for your reader purposes, but more for venting purposes.

I can't beieve Kyla is here....and that she is actually 5 weeks old tomorrow. It seems only yesterday when I was working, feeling contractions, then home and heading to the hospital. The whole event went so much better than I could have ever imagined....and so much more painful (in the beginning.) I discovered I am much more of a wimp in the childbirth department than I thought i would be. As I posted on facebook, I love me an epidural. Those women who face the pain without one...you are CRAZY! :) More power to ya.

Kyla came fairly quickly, with soooo much hair and was soo sooooo beautiful. Ok, so her first day or two (or more) she was the funny looking newborn with lots of vernix and a cone shaped head. But she was ours! All ours! After having the fear of having and ugly newborn, I still maintain she was beautiful.

Life since then has been a rollercoaster. We had guests/family in our home for about 3 weeks. I cannot put in words how grateful I was to have my sisters come and spend days with me. It surprisingly made me soooo much more homesick for my family in Az. The other part I did not expect with her birth, were the tears....I do blame those tears on exhaustion in that first week. By the end of each day, I was emotionally and physically spent, and my body only wanted to cry. So it did. I did. It was weird. Those days are much farther apart now, but the exahusting nights remain. I believe Kyla had so much love and so many people wanting to hold her all the time for so many weeks, she doesn't enjoy being put down yet:) As I type, she has been in her pack-n-play for 40 minutes, crying, fussing, and sleeping on and off because she can't just surrender and sleep! It will be a process! and I don't know if I'm ready. But ready or not.....

One thing I learned....Well, I did not learn this, but it greatly humbled me. After having a baby, it is amazing the amount of support and love and service that gets poured out in your direction. I had people from church I've never even met before volunteer to feed us. Though I claimed it was strange having strangers care for us, I admit, it was humbling and such an example. I wanna be more like those strangers, able and willing to serve others, even if I don't know them. I have had friends, and co-workers, and family send stuff, call, come by to visit....It is amazing the love that pours out,,,and once again, I am humbled. So I'll end with a thank you. A very humble, and tearful thank you to those who have served my little family in these weeks past. There are no others words to portray what my heart feels. You will be blessed in return. I just know it!