I remembered something.....

I remembered something the other day. It was important. It took me back a few years....to when I decided I would pursue being a nurse. Usually I spend the days (and nights) on my new floor, running around staying exhaustingly busy, completing task after task, talking to doctors, ordering meals, getting patients up, putting patients back to bed, administering medications, titrating medications to keep vital signs in just the right range, checking blood sugars every hour, on the hour, talking to families, turning patients side to side, checking skin, running back and forth room to room, boosting patients, answering the phone, going to procedures, providing oral hygiene, pulling blood, giving blood, hanging more medications.....the list goes on and on including the crazy amount of manditory documentation in 9 different places. it's crazy. but.....the other day, I remembered why I loved my job.

Humility. Gratitude. Love.

It keeps you, and in "you" i definitely mean "me"---Humble and grateful for every breath and for health and especially for life. Life is so so precious....and no matter the technology, no matter the Doctor's smarts, no matter the nurses' help, God is in charge. People come into our hospital all the time, never with the slightest inckling....that their loved one will not leave alive. How sad and.....awful it is to watch those couples. You know which ones. The ones who have been together so long, that they don't know life without them. They don't know 'how' to live without the other. The ones where the patient can't even be calm without their spouse by their side. The ones that just touch your heart. The ones that just break you heart. The ones who try so hard to be strong...and supportive....and hold it together, as they try their hardest to let their loved one "go."

In the last two weeks I have had tears in my eyes as I've watched a few different patients and families struggle through their turmoil of 'sickness.' It not only took me back to my own parents, wondering how it was for my mom as my dad slipped through her hands and landed in the realms of heaven. Or how it was for my mom, to struggle with letting go and find herself with her sweetheart, only to leave us kids behind. Oh to know what went on inside my parents. I cannot wait to find out one day why our family.

It also makes me wonder about the future. With all the struggles and trials in losing both parents so early......I can't help but worry, knowing this can't be the end of my trials, nor the hardest. Or could it? After these experiences, what else could there be? Will I make it....to be one of the sweet couples who gets to experience a long long life with my sweetheart? I hope so.

It all ties back to the Gospel. And the knowledge of forever families! Thank goodness for that. And thank goodness for choices. The choice to be happy....the choice to keep going...the choice to try and do good for others.

Today....I remember why I love my job! It is important. It is real. It reminds me......about the good!