I remembered something.....

I remembered something the other day. It was important. It took me back a few years....to when I decided I would pursue being a nurse. Usually I spend the days (and nights) on my new floor, running around staying exhaustingly busy, completing task after task, talking to doctors, ordering meals, getting patients up, putting patients back to bed, administering medications, titrating medications to keep vital signs in just the right range, checking blood sugars every hour, on the hour, talking to families, turning patients side to side, checking skin, running back and forth room to room, boosting patients, answering the phone, going to procedures, providing oral hygiene, pulling blood, giving blood, hanging more medications.....the list goes on and on including the crazy amount of manditory documentation in 9 different places. it's crazy. but.....the other day, I remembered why I loved my job.

Humility. Gratitude. Love.

It keeps you, and in "you" i definitely mean "me"---Humble and grateful for every breath and for health and especially for life. Life is so so precious....and no matter the technology, no matter the Doctor's smarts, no matter the nurses' help, God is in charge. People come into our hospital all the time, never with the slightest inckling....that their loved one will not leave alive. How sad and.....awful it is to watch those couples. You know which ones. The ones who have been together so long, that they don't know life without them. They don't know 'how' to live without the other. The ones where the patient can't even be calm without their spouse by their side. The ones that just touch your heart. The ones that just break you heart. The ones who try so hard to be strong...and supportive....and hold it together, as they try their hardest to let their loved one "go."

In the last two weeks I have had tears in my eyes as I've watched a few different patients and families struggle through their turmoil of 'sickness.' It not only took me back to my own parents, wondering how it was for my mom as my dad slipped through her hands and landed in the realms of heaven. Or how it was for my mom, to struggle with letting go and find herself with her sweetheart, only to leave us kids behind. Oh to know what went on inside my parents. I cannot wait to find out one day why our family.

It also makes me wonder about the future. With all the struggles and trials in losing both parents so early......I can't help but worry, knowing this can't be the end of my trials, nor the hardest. Or could it? After these experiences, what else could there be? Will I make it....to be one of the sweet couples who gets to experience a long long life with my sweetheart? I hope so.

It all ties back to the Gospel. And the knowledge of forever families! Thank goodness for that. And thank goodness for choices. The choice to be happy....the choice to keep going...the choice to try and do good for others.

Today....I remember why I love my job! It is important. It is real. It reminds me......about the good!

Yellowstone stop over.....

The family picture near the end of a day's adventure through Yellowston andon our way to jackson Hole. Robert, Lynette, me, Eric, Scott, Kobe, Spencer, Abbey, Kendra and Dustin. Missing Daren who is on a mission, and Scott's wife Amanda who had to work. Good good times this day. Thanks Robert! And Lynette!

Kobe and Abbey are the most adorable and such good kids.
This is our lunch break, while we wait for Old Faithful to brew.

Robert and Lynette by the awesome Mesa Falls.

This is so dang beautiful!

the only animals we saw through the park, were Buffalo and Elk. Nothing too exciting about Elk,,,and this was ok. I was hoping for Moose, but no luck.

This is the bear/wolve place. it was cool.

Sweet Abbey

First stop. Mesa falls. Silly picture. No makeup, and sleepy face.

Good times!

....I may not make it....

....according to my most recent patient. :)

Ok. So, I am at work tonight, and I have what appears to be the sweetest lady as my patient. Well, She is sweet. However, I had been previously warned this patient was particularly racist and had been kind of a pain to everyone throughout the day. According to the patient, "Everyone should be protestant and white!"

Well, I went in, introduced myself, and told her I was going to be taking care of her throughout the night. Immediately she asked if my name, "Alisha" was a Bask name. (Bask name?) Ok, so I am not all that smart-cause at first of all, I couldn't even hear what she was saying. Second, I had no idea what she was talking about. It was not until later it all came together and I was educated on what she was getting at. So, at the time I told her I didn't think so, and she proceeded to tell me my name was pretty.

She continued to ask questions, to try and get acquainted with me, The usual. Almost anyone working in health care would admit; sometimes, it's just easier to keep the peace. One tends to do what you can to make it a calm and cooperative and quiet shift. Omit certain truths, avoid answerine some questions, whatever it takes without going overboard.

So she asks if I'm catholic. "No". She asks if my parents were Catholic. "No," I tell her they had both passed on. (my attempt at changing the subject shockingly as to avoid her favorite topic of religion.) I also asked her if she was CAtholic. She told me no and what she is. We chat about my folks, and she continues to compliment me all sweet. I now call her my "chatty Patty."

Time passed and I walk in about an hour later to give some IV medication. SHe immediately grabbed my hand and held it tight. I just assumed she didn't want to be alone, & needed some company while she fell asleep. Afterall her eyes were closed. I watched her face and soon realized her mouth was moving. It took just a minute, but I finally figured out she was praying. Weird kinda, but ok. So, I figured I'd just stand there, let her pray.

The prayer in which she offered, goes something as follows. (The parts I remember.) Half of it is mumbled under her breath, the other half split between spoken, cried, and yelled....

"Lord, thank you. thank you Lord. (repeated at least 6 times.) Thank you for this sweet nurse. Thank you.... and bless her Lord. Bless the girl to meet her sweet parents one day Lord. I know the day is near Lord. Thank you. The day is near and bless she will see her parents again. It is 1912---(pause---what?????) and we know the day is near Lord. The Lord is coming soon. I had a dream. I dreamed we were all at my brothers bed Lord, and all the family was gathered round. All except one brother. One brother Lord. And he was LDS and so we know he didn't make it. Oh bless him Lord. I need to pray for him Lord. Oh Bless him, bless he and his wife, for they were LDS and we know they didn't make it. Oh bless them. I have to pray for them...." Multiple phrases repeated over and over and over. At this point, she is loud! Crying out, and speaking in tongues amist the bless and thank yous, words I could hear, but not understand. I could swear she was saying Hakuna Matata. Who knows.

Here's the picture. So, here I am, in this room with this patient who is pregressively getting louder, and louder, and more emotional and teary, and upset and really into it. And her blood pressure is climbing and climbing...and her heart rate is climbing and climbing....and alarms are ringing, and more alarms are ringing....and I'm standing there...and people are looking in.....and I am standing there, holding her hand and she is loudly praying. I have no control.

Finally I put my hand on her arm, trying to comfort and calm her....and she gets irritated because she doesn't "CARE about her blood pressure cause Jesus will take care of it." Ah!

Ok....so, moral of the story? I don't guess I have one. It was just and interesting conversational/prayer-ish/experience. Thought i'd just warn you LDS-folks. :) We just might not make it.
Funny thing is-never at any point did I mention or even slightly hint at my religion. Wierd.

Old pictures of family.

My cousin Brandy posted some of these pics on facebook, and so I stole them to post on here. I love them. It makes me wish more adults were alive and close in my life to re-tell me the stories I've already heard and forgotten, and also to tell me the ones I haven't heard. This picture is of my dad's parents, apparently gardening. They were cool like that. From my understanding, between the two of them, there was not much they did not know how to do. My favorite of granny (or one of the many) is the fact she used to be a cook at a restaurant where they lived, and John Wayne used to eat there often, and preffered her cooking. She was an AMAZING cook. How cool is that. My granny used to chill with Mr. Wayne back in the day....

Oh man....who knows how old this picture is. They look so young and my dad still has black hair. I don't remember him having black hair in my lifetime. Always salt and pepper ish.


This I love. I actually remember this trip. As a family, and usually with the addition of many friends, we took a trip to Rocky Point Mexico nearly every year. This is way back before it actually became all popular and fixed up. This is aunt Wilda and mom gettin some rays. Who are they joking...well, at least my mom anyway was about as white as they come. She didn't get too tan. :) Apparently my mom was an awesome swimmer. I just remember her always heading out into the ocean to tread water forever...and it always made me soooo nervous.

I just love this picture....cause grampy looks so young.

And I just love this picture because. It's so random! My dad was usually very quiet, calm, laid back. I just love the fun pics. I love remembering. well,,,,,trying to remember more about him. It has been 13 years this year...and I have to sadly admit that I don't remember what it was like to have him around. Sure I remember doing things...and how he was...and random things. But, I do not remember what it's like, in daily life to have a dad. And....remembering what it's like to have a mom is quickly fading in my mind. It's crazy to think....that my spouse never met my cool folks....but that I may have kids.....who won't meet them either.

Anyway....thanks for the pics Brand-ex:) I may need more:)

Zion National Park

This year, we had a reunion for my mom's side of the family. The Bowers!

The last time i remember us all being together, well besides for grandma bowers funeral, then my mom's funeral, was way back when I was 13-14 years old. We just don't get together that often. It was great. We stayed at Zion Ponderosa some camped, some stayed in their travel trailers, some camped with tents....and it was awesome. they had a big nice pool with fun water slides and a huge barn full of kid activities: Ping pong, rock climbinb, tennis, trampoline, pool, etc. It was great.

We spend one day actually at Zion park. Only took a small hike to the weeping wall. So this huge rock just leaks water pretty much. The water is years and years and years old. Crazy. It was a nice cool off to a hot day. On the way home, i took this picture of Korey, who was SOOOO tired and SOOO fighting it. I finally caught his eyes closed, but they popped right back open...

this.....is just a family thing. there are many pics in the history of our family....with our tongues touching our noses. I thought everyone could do it. Tis not so! Try it.

So.....this picture is....
Leisel-representing my mom
Cynthis-representing uncle Ken, although they been divorced for years, she is and will always be our family
Dave and Linda Su-mom's oldest brother
Susie and Lynn-mom's baby sister
then John and Judy-mom's bro
and Bob and Pat-mom's bro

It was so hot, and Eric tried to be happy following around this strange family to him :) No matter where he went, he always ended up surrounded by our nieces and nephews.

At the pool, he would take turns, sliding down with the kids standing in front of him, and when they got to the edge, he would throw them out into the water. Good times. Looked way fun and kinda hard.

It was great to see family. Of course, it didn't go without 'issues' but what family function does. Love my family. Will see them in TWO years:) for Grandpa Bowers 100th birthday remembrance/celebration.

Lake lowell- i think.

Eric's partner, Sean, and his wife Tina took Eric and I, and Andy and Jen to the lake a couple weeks ago. I was reluctant to go....only because I'm always tired now-a-days, but it was a blast! There was wake boarding, Knee boarding, some tubing. I'm not too good at all. But it was fun. Here is Eric trying to do the sprinkler move just before he crashed.

Looking silly, but having a blast.

Eric again....wanting to do more than just go forward. I.e-jump, spin, roll, dive....whatever.

Here is Sean and one of his jumps.

I think the jacket was a bit......loose.:)

Good times. Thanks Sean and Tina for an awesome time. Gotta say, I hope we go again before it gets cold. Afterwards there was yummy pizza and a mad rockband session! Couldn't ask for more.

4th of July....part I

Part one of the 4th of July trip, did have the class reunion. Afterwards, I decided to go keep Laura and Clare and their husbands and other friends company at Java Blues! Good Good times. People say the darndest things with the littlest of alcohol in their system. VERY entertaining.

This is Connie Slade (forgot her new last name) with her daughter Angela and my sister Angie with Cimmeron. I cannot believe how much he has grown. He hates when we tease him, but it completely trips me out that his voice has changed. He is no-longer little CJ. But my little buddy, none the less. Love this kid.
Zoe and Ali, doing a bunch of different faces for me. This was the angry face. These girls are Girls through and through. Love it.

Zoe is into posing. So this is us together after her family's photo shoot.

Another one of cimmeron and me. Look how close he is to totally passing me. This is NOT Allowed!

The Kam! So dramatic sometimes. Refusing to smile for a picture with his mom.

Tom, Marnie and "Little Man." Also known as Korey.

this is all the nieces and nephews, minus Cimmeron and Jonathan....oh, and Kristina (the brand new baby.) Gonna have to get used to saying 13 nieces and nephews. Not just 12. Ok, from back left curving around the table to the front... Zachary, Kameron, Korey, Kaulin, Ali, Catherin, Samantha, Zoe, and Jessica. Wait, that means I'm missing Keilani too. I think she was in the bedroom playing.

This little turkey, has not warmed up to me yet at all. But once he saw me with a camera, he kept wanting pictures taken of him on his horses. I told him to make a silly face for me. This is what I got:)

This trip home was much needed. Feeling so detached and far away from my family has been much harder than I thought, as well as harder than i wanna admit. It was awesome seeing friends too. I was extra happy to come back to see Eric and my little 'family' of dogs. Something about the trip helped me gain a little perspective and that I appreciate.